Friendship.

Friendships. It was at this point of my life that I finally understood what friendship really means. Within my immediate circle, we’re all at a stage where we’re either married, travelling the world, having kids or experiencing life some other way, but what I’ve noticed is that we’re going through this life together.

I mentioned in my previous post that I’ve known a couple of my friends since secondary school and others since uni. How they’ve put up with me, wonders shall never cease, but I’m always in awe that we have such a strong bond regardless of whatever the enemy tries to throw at us. Trust me, we’ve been through some tough times, but we always happen to come out the other side. There’s not many people out there that can say that their friendship is just as solid. I get it though; not everyone stays in your life. God gives you the option to choose your friends wisely (obviously) however if it is meant to be then He will ordain it.

Ever since this lockdown occurred, I’ve seen an abundance of posts on social media that we should cut our friends off if we haven’t heard from them to check in our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. I mean – was this ever a requirement before this even happened? Last time I checked, it works both ways PLUS I’m sure many were lasting weeks or months without speaking to any of their friends and everyone would still be ok with it. It is unprecedented times after all – we have to be mindful of what others are going through before we decide to distance ourselves completely.

I’ve been blessed so far to have had plenty Zoom, WhatsApp and Google Meet calls with my friends, but I also understand that even in the periods of quietness that we’re all simply a phone call away. That, I could say is because we all understand the true depths of our friendship circle – the one where it seems like to an outsider that we’re just getting to know each other, when in fact, we’re just getting to know each other deeper. As I mentioned above, we’re entering into different seasons in our lives, so understanding how one thinks and feels during that time helps the rest of us as a collective to further recognise that we’re never alone, if or when we approach that particular season. We can rely on being uplifted in one way or another.

I don’t write this to say that with my friendship circle that it’s been all butterflies, glitter & roses. Oh hell no! We’ve had our down times, our conflicts, even more so now that we’re currently navigating this “thing” we call adulthood, but to me that’s just made our bond stronger. We’ve been able to communicate our frustrations, worries etc. (even if delayed, it’s always addressed) to each other and with that, it has created a bond like no other. Friendships tend to diminish after a short time because there’s no transparency; we tend to not see things past face value. Everyday on social media (especially on social media) there’s someone cancelling someone else because of an issue that could’ve been easily rectified and further strengthen the bond they had before.

If we look at the story of David & Jonathan, we can see how their friendship remained even when Saul (Jonathan’s Father) wanted to outright kill David. With the covenant they had between each other – that bond, Jonathan was able to inform David of his father’s jealousy and get him to safety. Proverbs 17:17 is a true example of the adversity they both experienced. However, their covenant, that bond that they had, allowed for their friendship to remain.

Deep it though – Jonathan fully had the option to hand David in, to take the side of his father and allow that same jealousy that Saul was exhibiting to manifest in him also. Jonathan had every reason, especially with knowing that David would take his place and become King after Saul’s death. But his love for David & that covenant between the two remained. He sacrificed his relationship with his father to allow for his friend to stay safe. The commonality of their love for God had allowed for their relationship to stand firm, even to the point of Jonathan helping David to find strength in Him when David became weary (1Samuel 23:16).

Jonathan went to find David and encouraged him to stay strong in his faith in God.

1Samuel 23:16

It’s that moment of uplifting each other-helping each other to find strength in the Lord, even during times of adversity such as this, that allows both parties to reap the benefits of God’s glory when it comes to pass.

It’s funny, because whenever there’s a time of worry and although I don’t see it, I can rely on God & my friends to change that perception. And finally, when I see the very thing I said I couldn’t do or I deemed wasn’t worthy enough, it would be both God & my friends that would be congratulating me. As one of my girls would say:

When my team wins, I win.

Stephanie A

It’s that covenant, that bond with my friends will never be broken and continue to stand the test of time. To see our friends win, to be that same second in command how Jonathan was to David when he became King. Friendship is truly a gift from God to which Jesus showed us the greatest example of laying down His life for us – His friends (John 15:13-15) – and for that I’m extremely thankful.